Don't hurt me
by Emodo
Summary: Alec's in High-school and dealing with some emotional problems, including self-harm. Magnus Bane new student finds himself interested in the blue-eyed boy. All human.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N Sorry for bad grammar, it's not my strong side **

**Warning for: Language, self-harm **

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything **

Chapter 1

Alec Lightwood got up for school as usually, and drives his siblings there. Alec is the oldest at the age of 18 while Jace and Isabelle are 16, and last Max at 9 years. The siblings all go to Churchwald High-school.( Except Max that is.)

Alec is not very found of his life, looking slightly like a emo/ goth kid. He doesn't care much for fashion making it easy to go unnoticed (mostly, altho he would like to be more unnoticed.) Alec's very blunt and straightforward, mostly because he can't lie. At all. He have trouble holding things in when asked, that's kind of the reason why the whole school knows he's gay...

The school isn't the most accepting one. Witch dose not help get in a happier mood.

Today was Monday, first day of the school week. Alec have made it through the day mostly without difficulty, now it was lunch.

Alec made his way to the table they always sit at. Jace, Isabelle, Clary and Simon was already at the table. On his way Alec notice the evil group of boys look with distaste his way, Sebastian and Jonathan's gang. The bullies and homophobes that is. No doubt they're going to make this year a hell too.

''Hey'' I greeted everyone at the table.

''I've heard there's a new kid starting here, any of you seen him?'' Isabelle says, sounding enthusiastic.

She revives a no from the others at the table. Alec doesn't pay much more attention to the conversation as he likes to keep to himself so he doesn't accidentally blurt out something.(Witch have happened several times before.)

The food is disgusting as usual and Alec can't managed to get down much, tho he is hungry.

_Like you can eat anything, your getting thin as a rail._

The bell rings signaling class start in five minutes. Alec have gym next, witch makes him both depressed and happy. Happy because he likes gym and sport, sad because he have it with Sebastian and the gang...Witch almost always mean trouble.

When Alec makes it to his locker he sees big black letters on his locker saying '_fag'_. It isn't an unusual sight but it still feel like a stab in the back. Alec is not often in a good mood and if he were before he isn't now. Yeah... gonna be fun making it another year here.

_You know you deserve it Alec, it's true you know._

Alec get his gym bag and slams his locker in frustration.

He's soon in the locker room and lucky for him he's a bit early so no one's there. He change quickly and gets out to the soccer field where they always gather up.

Gym passes with nothing more then a few glares and 'accidental' kicks from Sebastian.

_At least they didn't punch you to the ground, you should be happy._

He doesn't like changing with the other guys, so he change quick in a corner. But Alec's mood soon gets darker. On his gray shirt there's big black letters made by some sort of pencil that smells and looks permanent. The same words that were on his locker, and other synonyms to that word are written all over his shirt.

Alec puts the shirt he wore for gym on again and rush out of the locker room with blurred vision and a lump in his throat. Alec runs as fast as he can through the soccer field, he just wants to get the hell out of here away from them, away from it all. It doesn't help with a annoying voice in his head telling him how bad he is and how much he deserves this.

Alec is lost in his thoughts as he runs and doesn't notice the boy in front of him. He collide with the boy and both are sent flying to the ground. Alec got the breath knocked out of him and starts panting heavily the tears that have been stinging his eyes falling down his face uncontrollably. He's having trouble seeing clearly with so much tears in his eyes and can't help feeling like the world is crashing down on him.

Somehow with the help of the other boy, Alec manage to stand up again and gets a view of the other boy. Bright blue combat boots, skinny black leather jeans.( I mean really skinny.) A purple button down dress-shirt with sleeves brought up above the elbow. The boys hair was black and up in spikes with...glitter in it?. Alec noticed the caramel skin on the boy and those shining green-gold-yellow eyes looking right at him. Alec found it even harder to breath (if that was even possible) ones he made eye-contact with the other boy. The tall and slender boy smiled with a look of concern in his eyes.

''Hey, are you alright?'' The boys voice was like honey and Alec couldn't come up with anything to say in response.

Alec tore his eyes from the strangers and darted as fast as he could towards the gate that led out of this godforsaken place.

He kept seeing those eyes, they were like nothing he seen before. They were amazing, light green with gold and yellow spots surrounding the pitch black pupil. As he ran he couldn't help but feel sad at the lose of the other boys presence.

_It was nothing, he'll never feel anything for you. Why would he? Look at you._

Alec shakes his head trying to get rid of everything. He just wants to curl up in a corner and never come out.

When Alec came home he ran to his room and started to sob as fast as his door was closed. He slump down against the door bringing his knees up and his arms around them. He doesn't know how long he stayed like that, sobbing, but when he was done he couldn't help but think of those piercing green eyes with gleaming gold inside of them and that smile.

He looked at himself in the floor-length bathroom mirror. He had to agree with the voice in his head. He wasn't attractive or good-looking. His nose didn't fit his face, his hands are to big and he isn't buff. He could come up with so much more stuff that are wrong with him but he's totally exhausted. He needs some sleep.

Before Alec went to sleep he took out his knife from the bedside-table. Sitting down comfy in his bed. He focused on breathing, in and out. In and out. Alec slowly but steady brought the sharp silver blade up to his lower arm where there were several scars in different directions. He pushed down the tip of the blade slightly, making the skin rip under the blade. He goes slow making a six-centimeter long gash. He breath out slowly and deeply putting the blade back and slipping into his dreamland, where anything and everything is possible.

Magnus POV

This was Magnus first day of school in this new school. He have just moved here from Florida. The school seemed rather boring and not much have happened with half the school day gone.

Magnus is into fashion and glitter. His looks kind of makes it clear that he's gay. He have always gotten comments and whispers when he walk down the hallway. He doesn't mind it, he likes it actually. He know there's always going to be people who disagree with him and how he is. Magnus have excepted that ling time ago, he have learned that that is how the world works and nothing can change that. Sure it has gotten more accepting but there will always be hate in the world.

When Magnus was fourteen he knew he was gay and thought he should let his parents know about it. He knows now that it was a huge mistake. His parents were really devoted religious people. His dad did not like his coming out so much, he took Magnus out to a nearby lake and tried to drown him. There maid came and helped Magnus and ended up killing Magnus dad in the processes. His mother then hung herself saying she couldn't live with the guilt of creating something like Magnus. Maia was the maid, she always helped Magnus and took care of him after his parents death. Maia taught him that love is beautiful in all shapes and forms.

They moved from Florida because Maia got a better job offer.

He would like some new faces around.

The town is small and only have like two schools near by so there's not that many people and everyone seem to know everyone.

The bell rings and lunch is over. Magnus have math, witch by no surprise was boring as hell.

He was looking at his map he had gotten in search for next class, when someone knocked him over making him fall painfully to the ground with the other person not far behind. Magnus let out a 'oopf' sound as he connect with the hard ground.

He gather his breath a little before helping himself and the other boy up. The boy was tall, not as tall as himself but he don't feel like a giant like he use to around people. The boy is wearing dark loose-fitting clothes. As he helps the other boy up he can feel that he's kind of muscular.

When the boy raised his head Magnus found himself staring into the most beautiful blue eyes he ever seen. They were slightly dark, deep blue and they were watered with tears, some escaping down his cheek. Magnus couldn't see anything other then the boys face his eyes were completely locked with the boys. The boy in front of him had black hair slightly falling down in his eyes, red flushed cheeks and gorgeous lips. His skin was pale and suited him good.

The boy was crying and it was certainly not from the fall. He looked so sad and hurt and vulnerable.

''Hey, are you alright?'' Magnus smiled as he asked trying to look as friendly as he can, he don't want to scare the boy away.

Magnus wasn't very successful in that area as the boy darted away. Magnus watched the boy run away. His clothes look old with the color fading and what looked like holes in them, his sneakers was not in much better condition.

When the boy disappeared completely from view Magnus sighed and walked into the school again.

For the rest of the day Magnus daydreamed about those blue eyes and wondered what the young man name was. It was probably something adorable. He slept good that night making a promise to himself to find out who that cute boy who bumped into him was.

Magnus got all fixed up the next morning and headed to school. He was early as he was eager to see that adorable sexy boy again. He know it was going to be hard considering he knew nothing about the boy... But he can take a challenge, he is Magnus Bane after all. The absolutely magnificent Magnus Bane.

Magnus decided there wasn't much he could do to find this boy except keep his eyes open. He went to his first class and sat down on the floor just outside the door.

He was wearing tight green skinny jeans with a big belt buckle on. His shoes were red and his shirt black. Of course he had a lot of glitter on him too.

First class was biology. It was about three minutes left til class start when a black-haired pale-skinned blue-eyed, tall guy walked in. Everything about the boy was familiar. The seat next to Magnus was open and he was praying to god for this boy to sit next to him, or at lest somewhere near him.

Today seemed to by his lucky day because the blue-eyed cutie took the seat behind him.

There were still some time left til class start so he had some time.

''Hey there cutie, what's your name?'' Magnus said flashing a brilliant friendly smile at the slightly stunned boy.

It was quite obvious the young boy was checking him out, making Magnus smile even wider. Magnus soon found out that the boy was extremely shy as the boy ducked his head with red cheeks.

''A-Alec, Alec Lightwood'' The boy practically whispered head still ducked to the table.

''What a adorable name! I'm Magnus Bane'' Magnus purred with a smile on his face.

Alec POV

Oh god. That voice was the best thing Alec ever heard come out of someones mouth. He could feel himself blushing like an idiot. He didn't want to look up from his desk but the teacher came in at the next moment.

''Hello everyone, let us get started shall we.'' Mrs Fairchild greeted.

Alec looked up and got lost when he saw those beautiful green-gold eyes staring at him. He swallowed hard willing himself not to get to lost. Magnus flashed him a last smile before turning back to face the teachers directions.

Getting through biology was getting very hard. Magnus was just a seat away from him, he couldn't help but stare. He had skinny jeans on today as well showing of that amazing shape of his long slim legs. There was glitter like a bubble all around the tall boy, Alec had to admit Magnus was very hot and attractive.

_Like I told you before, he'll never feel anything for you. Ever. How could you even think someone like that would want someone like you._

Alec tore his gaze down at his notebook and swallowed hard again. He know the voice was right. Magnus was way to hot for him, he shouldn't be daydreaming about him. Just thinking those thoughts made him want to run the hell away and hurt himself in any form or shape.

He had to get out of here, out of this room. Away from Magnus and every thought about him. It will never happen no matter how much Alec would like it, who is he trying to fool?

''Mrs Fairchild, can I please be excused. I don't feel very well.'' The words was out of Alec mouth in a hurry and he didn't wait for a response, just got out as quickly as possible.

He ran to the closes bathroom and feel to his knees ones inside. His breathing was fast and erratic, it felt like all the air he got in got stuck high in his chest not making its way down. He was getting dizzy and the small room started spinning out of control.

Alec didn't hear the door open or the steps or the voice calling to him, saying his name. It was to blurry, he was to dizzy.

Magnus POV

Magnus got concerned when Alec rushed out of the classroom, so he decided to check if he was alright. The boy had said he didn't feel so good and honestly he didn't look so good eater.( In the not so healthy kinda way not in the not-attractive kinda way.) Magnus went to search for a bathroom, that's usually where you go when you don't feel so good. He was right, Alec was in the bathroom, the first one Magnus spotted too. The door was unlocked and when he opened it he found Alec lying on his knees on the floor.

''Alec!''

''Alec!'' Magnus called again. The boy didn't look good at all.

After Magnus gotten inside the little room closed the door and sat down next to Alec for a while Alec finally spoke.

''I-I'm f-fine.'' His voice was shaky and his breath was still labored.

''Alec'' Magnus said, taking a hold of Alec's body and bringing it closer to his. Alec's head rested on Magnus shoulder while Magnus stroke the smaller boys back in a soothing way.

Magnus tried to calm the boy not letting him see that he was terrified. Magnus was concerned for the boy, he looked so broken and in pieces, something that needed fixing.

After sitting on there on the floor for god knows how long, Magnus decided to speak up.

''Alec what's the matter? What happened?'' He didn't really expect much of an answer, tho it would have been nice to have one. He could see Alec's face now and the young boy had tears in his eyes.

''Alec it's OK, it's OK.'' Magnus repeated rocking the boy slightly in his arms.

He have no idea how long they stayed there but after a while Alec seem to collect himself and he hurried away from Magnus. Magnus tried to follow or catch up or just something! He didn't like the idea of leaving Alec alone after something like that. He prayed that Alec was alright and didn't do something stupid to what-ever is up there in the skies.

On his way to the next class Magnus passed a locker with black writhing on it. The words 'emo' and 'go kill yourself' was splayed on the locker. He could feel his heart sink and hoped with all he had that this wasn't Alec's locker.

Alec POV

He hurried away from Magnus, he just couldn't bee near that man. It felt so good to be held in his arms and hearing him say Alecs name like that. Alec don't know how much more of this he can take, it's like he's falling apart.

He made it to his locker only to find new black writing on it... Wow surprise, surprise. He threw his bag out forcefully and the sound of the locker door shut harshly echoed through the empty hallway.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Sorry for bad grammar, and I did notice a mistake I made in the first chapter but I have no idea how (or if ) I can change that so... sorry about that :P**

Chapter 2

It's two weeks after Alec's little meeting with that sparkly Magnus boy. Alec have done his best to avoid him (and done a good job so far.)

Alec's sitting in math class when he feels his phone buzz with an incoming text.

**Unknown:** Hey cutie, who's it going? ;)

**Alec: U**hm... who is this?

Alec putts down his phone and finds himself unable to concentrate on the algebra in his math book. After five minutes of doodling his phony vibrates.

**Unknown: **Your secret admirer ;) And you didn't answer the question!

Alec stares at the phone and blinks several times. What. The. Fuck? Who could possible have his number?  
Alec is drawn out of his thoughts by the sound of the bell ringing and students flying out of the door. Alec quickly makes his way out into the hall without noticing the tall glittery boy leaving the classroom after him. Alec pretty much throws the books into his locker and darts for the closest bathroom, he can feel his breath getting more labored and out of control.  
Alec sinks down to the bathroom-floor taking deep controlled breathes. In his hand he's clutching his pocketknife. He has been carrying around for as long as he can remember it makes him feel safe somehow. To know it's not far away from him. Alec always gets away from people when he's feeling paranoid or panicking, it brings up all the emotions inside of him. Alec can feel hate and shame bubbling up inside of him making him want to scream and destroy something, anything.  
He grips the hilt of the knife tightly in his hand hand throws it hard into the wall. He runs a hand through his hair gets up shakily, take the knife out of the wall and starts stabbing the wall. The wall isn't that good made and is fairly soft. He can feel tears stinging his eyes threatening to spill over on his cheeks. He don't really know why he's so angry he's just angry.

Magnus POV

Magnus haven't seen Alec in two weeks but he have seen Isabelle Lightwood. They've had several classes together and have become friends. Magnus thought it was a good opportunity to ask her about her brother and it seemed like she was more then happy to spill everything about him.

''Awww you guys would be totally cute together! You could bring him out of his moping state! I should totally set you two up!'' Yep more then happy.

''And you could take him shopping and oh my god, I should give you his number!''

Okay... Magnus was going to ask about that but he thought it would sound kind of creepy. Magnus couldn't help but raise his eyebrow.

''Darling, I don't want to freak him out you know. This kind of makes me look like a stalker.'' He said but not with enough sincerity in the words.

Magnus did get Alec's number and quickly added it to his contacts.

Magnus only saw Alec once during the day (in math) and was heading towards the parking lot when he noticed a group of boys to his left. It looked like they were surrounding something on the ground, occasionally kicking it. Magnus felt his stomach knotting and swallowed hard, dreading what he was about to get himself into.

As he got closer he could see the group of boys were indeed surrounding a person laying on the ground in a fetal position.

''Hey!'' Magnus called out as he sprinted towards the group.

They boys turned around and crossed there arms over their chest, with evil smirks on their face.

''Well well, I'm up to beating up another fag today.'' One of the boys says while taking a step forward in Magnus direction, the evil smirk not leaving his face.

Magnus glanced down at the crumbled boy on the ground and with a pang recognized just who it was. It was a certain blue-eyed Alec Lightwood. His face was bleeding and the boy had his arms curled around his stomach holding himself, with a pained expression on his face. Magnus could feel the anger boil up inside of him. How could those bastards do that to the cute innocent Alec. He turned his face back towards the guy in front of him standing closer to Magnus then the others. Magnus guessed he was the leader or something like that.  
Magnus took a step forward closer to the teen with white blond hair, bringing his fist up and swinging it directly at the other boys noes, smirking slightly when he heard something crack underneath his knuckle. But his smile faded as a agonizing pain sets in his hand and knuckles. It all happened in mere seconds and soon the rest of the gang was stepping towards Magnus,with not so happy expressions.  
Magnus flung himself on the closest guy to his right bringing them both down to the ground. Magnus landed on top of the other boy, punching the guy beneath him once in the face not really caring where it lands, before he quickly got up. He regained his balance and turned bringing his fisted hand to collide in the gut of the boy behind him.  
Magnus hand screamed in pain, but he ignored it bringing it back to hit under the victims chin this time. The boy collapsed to the ground. Magnus being proud of himself didn't notice the boy he tackle to the ground earlier coming back up. As Magnus turned around he got the boys fist in his jaw, making him stumble and fall on the boy he punched to the ground seconds ago. His assaulter quickly got over to him taking Magnus by the hair and bringing his fist down for another blow. This one connecting with Magnus eye. His vision blurred when he fell back to the ground as the other boy release the grip on his hair. Then everything drifted of into blackness.

The next thing Magnus is aware of is that he's lying somewhere and he hurt all over, especial his jaw. He finds it hard to open his eyes but he can hear something rattle next to him.

''Magnus?'' He hears a soft voice say and can quickly make out who it belong to. ''Are you awake?''

Magnus slowly gets his eyes open (or eye to be more exact, the right one is bruised and swollen) and looks up to see those gorgeous blue eyes staring back at him.

''Hey blue eyes.'' Magnus smiles up at Alec.

''Lay still, you're badly hurt.'' Alec says sadly while taking up Magnus hand and dabbed something on his knuckles, making Magnus hiss from the sting.

''Sorry, it will sting a little.''

''How did I get here exactly?'' Magnus asks as he sits up. (Witch took a great effort.)

''Well you weren't precisely in any condition to walk after the fight... So I carried you to my car.'' Alec respond while smiling up at Magnus through his tangled black hair.

''Mmpfh'' Was Magnus brilliant retreat.

Alec POV

Alec have a black eye (not as bad as Magnus') a split lip and a slightly trace of blood under his nose, and of course some ugly bruises on his stomach with a aching pain in his right lower rib. He was cleaning up Magnus in the back of his car. Both of the boys are very tall, making them sit very close to each other, witch Alec has not failed to notice. Witch is making him quite uncomfortable and nervous.

''It was very nice of you to step in and help, you know.'' Alec's voice was no more then a whisper.

Magnus chuckled slightly ''What like I could just leave you there with them?''

Alec looked up and was met with Magnus sweet smile and he couldn't help it, he smiled back.

They sat there for a while in comfortable silence, before Magnus spoke up.

''You look beautiful Alec.''

Alec was surprised by the sincerity in Magnus voice as he spoke those words and his eyebrows rose in surprise. Surprised at such words directed towards him, and to hear them come from Magnus of all people.

Alec was to stunned to notice Magnus leaning in closer to him. He didn't understand what Magnus was doing until he felt soft lips pressed against his own. His eyes widen in shock and he gasped feeling Magnus tongue slip inside his mouth. After realizing that he was just sitting there like a stone, Alec began kissing back. (Not that he knew what he was doing.) His eyes slipped shut and his hands felt awkward just hanging there, so he brought one up to Magnus hair and the other to his waist. Magnus was leading the kiss with his hands trailing burning patterns over Alec's body.  
Alec fell back laying down on the back seats with Magnus on top of him. Every move Magnus tongue make feels like nothing Alec's ever experienced before and his breath is speeding up.

After a while they got interrupted by Alec's phone ringing. Magnus gets of off Alec a little uncomfortably. Alec checks the screen for caller ID and sees it's his sister Izzy. Alec gets out of the car and answered, he don't really want to talk to Izzy in front of Magnus.

Magnus POV

As Alec excused himself and went to talk to his sister on the phone Magnus tries to clear his thoughts and not look at Alec's ass as he walks away, that dose not help. Magnus finds it hard to do both those things but he's determent not to jump the boy when he comes back.  
As he no longer have Alec underneath him he can feel the pain coming back, reminding him that he has been in a right and probably looks terrible. But if getting into a fight means kissing Alec as a reward he would gladly do it.

After Alec gets back in the car he offers to drive Magnus home, witch he kindly accept seeing how he doesn't have a car and don't really want to take the buss when his body is screaming.

Alec pulls up besides his loft and before Magnus gets out he leans in and kisses Alec sweetly on the lips, it wasn't long but it was passionate.

''See you in school darling.'' He says smiling at the slight blush spreading Alec's cheeks.

''Y-yeah see you.''

Magnus gets put of the car, looking after it when the black thing drives away before practically skipping inside the apartment.

''Someone's happy.'' A female voice interrupt Magnus dreaming.

''Yeah, hey Maia.'' Magnus greets even more happy then before.

''Anything special?''

''Well... There's this boy...'' Magnus grins.

''Ah of course.'' Maia gestures to the kitchen table where there's a plate with newly backed chocolate-chip cookies. ''Tell me about him.'' She says when they're both seated and taken a cookie each.

''He's adorable! You should see him he has the most beautiful blue eyes I've ever seen!''

Magnus chats gladly with Maia about his crush until it's time to go to bed.

As he lay down in his bed he decides to text Alec before he goes to sleep

**Magnus: **What you doin blue eyes?;)

After about three minutes he feels his phone vibrate with an incoming text.

**Alec: **...Magnus...?

**Magnus: **Yeah it's me darling ;) but you didn't answer my question

**Alec:** I'm in bed texting with you... What about you?

**Magnus: **I'm also in bed. Soooo what you wearing?;)

The next response took a while.

**Alec: **Really...?

**Magnus: **Yes, really.

Again the answer took a while, but when it came Magnus was rather happy about the answer

**Alec: **…underwear...

**Magnus: **:D only?

**Alec: **Yeah...but I g2g now, talk to you later

**Magnus: **Sleep tight cutie

Alec POV

Alec lay in bed after he finished texting with Magnus not really knowing what to do. He didn't really need to go he just felt like it was to much talking to Magnus but at the same time not. He's confused and he don't really like that feeling.

He gets up from his bed and walks over to where he threw his clothes. He fumbled around inside his jeans pocket until he found it, his pocketknife. He let out a sigh of relief and held it closely. Alec then toed his way to his small bathroom, closed and locked the door after himself. He let out a shaky breath before sliding down to the floor, resting his back against the door. He held the knife to his upper arm getting the knife in it and slowly sliding down a few centimeters. He then dropped the knife and laid down on the bathroom-floor. He soon fell asleep.

The next morning Alec was sore all over.(Might be because he slept in the bathroom.) It was Saturday, and nine in the morning so none of his siblings were up.

After he showered, done his homework and eaten some breakfast it was nearly eleven o'clock, by now his siblings were up. Jace and Isabelle were siting in the living room eating breakfast and watching TV.  
Alec took a seat next to Jace.

''Hey man, there's this party tonight at Tessa's house.''

Alec stared at him like he was insane.

''You're coming.'' Jace said with a voice that there were no arguing with.

Alec sighed and looked at his sister for help, hoping she would take pity on him. Witch she of course did not...

''Come on, it will be more fun without me there I'll just bring you down.''

''Hey, I'm concerned about you! You need to get a girl.'' Jace said with a pointed look.

Alec sighed and walk back to his room dragging his feet on the way.

Magnus POV

Magnus was an outgoing person and did make friends easy. Witch tend to get him invited to parties a lot, and this night he's going to a party at Tessa's. She's a browned haired slightly tanned girl with gray eyes and he has heard she like to throw parties. He isn't really in a party mood, he's still thinking about Alec and what had happened.  
Sighing Magnus walks into his bathroom to get ready. He have to put on makeup and spike his hair, he has already picked out the outfit he's going to wear. He's going with black skinny leather pants with a tight top and a showing belt with big belt-buckle.

He putts on red eyeshadow with black eyeliner, and of course loads of glitter in his hair and around his eyes. Satisfied with the results he left the apartment heading towards his destination.

It wasn't that far away so he walked there, and he didn't need to be any earlier sense he was not really in a party mood.

He was sitting at a table alone feeling bored when he saw him. He was standing in a dark corner with a bear in his pale hand, looking bored. He had completely black clothes and hair, with startling blue eyes...


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N Just wanted to answer to one of my guest review :)) MOAHAHAHHA (Just felt like writing that last part :D)**

lokixo (Guest): Thanks for the complements, and it crossed my mind too that it could be eather of them ;) I did think about it alot and I guess you'll find out if you read :)

Chapter 3

Alec have gotten to the party some time ago and have decided to drown his boredom with bear, it is a party after all.  
He's currently standing in a corner sipping his second bear when something cough his eye. No not something, someone. It was a sparkly and glittery someone who were staring back at him with a smile on his face. Alec couldn't help but smile back, he let his eyes drift to his shoes at the floor. Alec remember the kiss they shared in his car and smiles even wider at the memory. They had been in a fight that day but that didn't matter.  
Alec was lost in thought and didn't notice the tall teen walk towards him.

''See something you like down there, sweetheart?'' Alec look up to see Magnus grinning at him, making him blush brightly.

''You look hot.'' Alec comments quietly, feeling rather bold.

Magnus chuckles, ''Why thank you. You don't look so bad yourself Alexander.''

Magnus took his eyes of the other teen and glanced at the dance floor. '' You wanna dance''?

''Dancing is not my thing I rather not.''

''Fine you wanna go someplace more...private?'' Magnus asks rather suggestively wiggling his eyebrows.

Alec grins and finds himself nodding up at the taller boy. He can feel the nervousness build up in his stomach as they start to walk.  
Magnus lead the way to a room down some hallway, Alec doesn't really care much for their surroundings.

They're in a small bedroom with a king sized bed in the middle. Alec walks in first, and when he turn to face Magnus he's pleasantly surprised by soft lips on his. Letting Magnus enter his mouth he sighs softly and let his hands go up under Magnus shirt. He runs his hand over Magnus flat stomach and up his slightly toned chest, he can feel Magnus humming softly into the kiss. Alec lets his other hand trail up and down Magnus thigh, Alec's slightly surprised when he hear Magnus breath out his name in what Alec thinks is a very lovely voice. Alec gasp as Magnus deepens the kiss with his hands inside Alec's pants cupping his ass.

''Mmmh'' Alec breath feeling Magnus hands squeeze rather harshly enjoying the pain-pleasure feeling.

Alec don't really know how but somehow they wound up in the bed with Alec underneath Magnus. They break apart for air and Alec throws his head back while getting a firm grip in Magnus black hair, tugging slightly. Magnus lips are now on Alec's neck sucking and nipping on the sensitive skin making Alec moan more. There will be a mark there later he's sure of.  
Magnus kiss up from Alec's neck and onto his jaw and then his lips. He bites down lightly on the smaller boys bottom lip, earning another moan. Alec lets one of his hands lose the grip on Magnus hair and trail down slowly on his back, witch made Magnus shiver. (Not that Alec noticed that.)  
Alec's breathing rapidly and his body is heated in all places. He press Magnus body closer to his feeling Magnus roll his hips against Alec's crotch, making Alec growl out.

The two boys are to busy with each other and doesn't notice they have an audience until they hear someone clear their throat loudly in the doorway. They break apart quickly to see who it might be.

''Something you wanna tell me bro?'' Alec looks up in the direction of the familiar voice to see Jace standing there looking at him.

Alec quickly gets away from his now rather awkward position under Magnus.

''U-uhh...No?'' Alec's 100% sure he's the color of a tomato by the heat in his face.

''No? Really, no?'' Alec looks up from the floor to see a not so very happy Jace staring intently at him.

They stand there staring at each other for a while before a small voice interrupts their staring contest. (Witch Alec was not winning by the way.)

''Uhm... maybe we should go somewhere else?'' A small red haired girl next to Jace says.

Alec noticing the girl next to Jace for the first time looks her over. She's not the typical girl Jace usually 'dates', she have bright green eyes and freckles. While Jace's type of girl are blond and dumb.

Jace looks down at the girl for a while, seeming to be battling something in his mind.''We're not done with this.'' Jace says sternly looking at Alec and leaves without taking his eyes off his brother.

When Jace and the short girl were out of the door completely and the door closed, Alec let himself fall face first down onto the bed. Sighing loudly as the bed squealed under his weight.

_Great work Lightwood. Now literally everyone knows your a fag._

Sometimes Alec just wants to bang his head against something hard to make the little annoying voice in his head disappear. But he can't argue with it, he knows it's true, he's stupid. Stupid stupid Alec. Something Alec also wants to do is hurt him self, maybe he can get away somewhere and find something sharp.

Alec feels the bed shift as Magnus sits down on the edge of the madras. With some new found energy Alec jumps of the bed and pretty much sprints out of the room feeling dizzy from the too fast movement.

Isabelle POV

Isabelle had been at the party for some hours, she wasn't drunk just a little tipsy. She have lost count on how meany guys that have touched and flirted with her.(Sense she is so good looking!)

It was getting kind of warm inside (it was full of sweaty bodies that's grinding against each other after all) so she was walking around outside when she spotted him. Alec.  
He was siting against the stone house wall in what seemed to be the only quiet spot. He's surrounded by bear bottles and one in his hand.

''Hello my darling brother, what's up?'' Izzy says while sitting down on the grass next to Alec. (Thank god the grass wasn't wet.)

''Hey Izzzzzzz!'' Alec responds making it clear from his voice that he was very much not sober.

''Are you sad? Did something happen?''

''Oh it'sss nothing you-you know, just made out with some guy.'' Alec slip out before he can stop himself, clapping a hand over his mouth.

Izzy can't help it she gives out a laugh at her brothers statement.

''Alec that's great!'' She exclaims happily. ''Tell me the dirty details.'' She wiggles her eyebrows up and down.

Alec being a person who easily lets things slip out that he would rather not say, and being drunk on top of that didn't really help.

''H-h-he had his hand down ma pants!'' Alec says loudly while swinging his arms around to create drama, witch only made him look funnier.

Izzy starts laughing hard the second the words leave Alec's mouth. And she's finding it hard to stop.

''What you laughing at!?''

''Oh nothing at all dear brother, lovely to hear you're getting some action.'' Izzy smiles up at her brother while elbowing him lightly in the side, who flushed a bright red color.

Out of the corner of her eye she could see a blond haired guy approach them with his hands in his pockets and not quite walking straight. She recognized it as her other brother, Jace.

Remembering the subject they were talking about she knows Alec wouldn't want Jace to hear about it. When Isabelle figured out that Alec's gay he made it clear that she couldn't tell Jace. She really don't know why he's so scared about Jace knowing, pretty much the whole school knows. How Jace don't is a mystery, or maybe he dose know but don't want to confront Alec. Anyway it's not her secret to tell.

''Lets get out of here, Iz take drunk boy here with you.'' Jace says when he made it to the two siblings nudging Alec with his foot.

Izzy opened her mouth to respond but got cut off.

''I CAN walk you know!'' Alec says while looking glued to the ground. ''By myself too!'' Izzy snickered at that.

Despite what Alec had said earlier Izzy helped him up and let him lean on her shoulder, pretty much all the way home. And damn it felt like he weigh a ton!

They had taken a cab to the party but seeing how they were low on cash the three siblings walked home. There were no not a lot of talking on the way home and Alec was still really drunk.

''Alec get in bed now!'' Izzy has been trying for the last twenty minuets to get Alec to bed. She knows he's a big boy but Alec don't usually get drunk and she feels kind of responsible. She did drag him to the party after all the least she could do was get him to bed safely so he don't wound up sleeping at some weird angle on the floor.

''I told y-you I'm not tired. I wanna watch cartoons!''

''Alec for the love of god.'' she mumbled ''That's it. I'm resolving to violence.''

''OH GOD NO!'' Alec rolls himself into a ball and grips the leg of his desk firmly looking like a scared chicken.

Sighing she gets over to him and after a quarter she's out of his room and quickly falling down in her own bed where she falls asleep instantly.

Alec POV

Alec woke up with a pounding headache. Groaning he went slowly to the bathroom, dragging his feet after him. He took a shower, fixed himself and went down to the kitchen where he was met by Izzy.

''Morning! I've made coffee.'' She smiles brightly at Alec and he wonder what on earth there is to smile about.

Alec mumbles under his breath while trying to remember what had happen last night, with no big luck there.

''Uh what did I do last night? And thanks.'' Alec says as Izzy hands him a cup of coffee, black the way he likes it.

''Oh you ju-'' Izzy started but were cut of by a firm stern voice.

''Alec.''

''Jace...'' Alec answeres as he sees the stern expression on his smaller brothers face.

''Living room. Now.''

Alec glance at Izzy for help (witch he don't know why he needs) but she too looked slightly confused.

Seeing how Jace hadn't moved Alec sighed and walked with Jace to the living room where he sat down on the gray couch across from Jace.

After a moment of silence Alec decides to speak up.

''So... is there something wrong?'' Alec search Jace's face for any clue but finds none.

''Last night.'' He says. Alec don't know what to say to that sense he don't remember last night, he waits for Jace to speak again. ''Why didn't you tell me?''

''Tell you what?''

''Oh I don't know that you like humping with dudes? Is there anything else you're hiding?''

Oh shit.

Smart-ass.

He remembers being with Magnus a the party... Shit had Jace walking in on them? Or did he see them?

''I-I ugh...'' What's he suppose to say?

''Why didn't you tell me.'' Jace says still in a stern voice with a excruciating long pause between each word.

''I-I... sorry...''

''Fine let's go to another question.'' Jace lets out a breath looking slightly less stern. ''How long have you known that you're gay?''

Alec flinch, hearing the word come out of his brothers mouth makes him feel panic creep up from his toes.

''Sense I was fourteen.'' Alec says quietly, barely a whisper. He regrets saying anything when he sees his brothers face harden again.

''Four years? You didn't tell me for FOUR years?'' Okay Alec really wish he hadn't said anything. ''Why!? I'm your brother don't you trust me?'' Alec can hear the hurt in Jace's voice.

''Of course I trust you I-I just, I was scared.''

''Scared of me? You're scared of me!?''

''What no! Just how you would react about...about you know.'' Alec finish the sentence while looking down on the wooden floor.

''About you being homosexual you mean?''

Wow he really have it easy saying these words... Alec seems to have lost his voice and nods in reply.

Jace shakes his heads and mumbles something Alec can't hear.

''I'll see you later I'm going to meet Clary.'' Jace says after a while with a blank expression. Alec's stomach drops. Seeing Jace like this, knowing he knows is just to much for Alec. He probably thinks he's disgusting.

_Well he thinks your disgusting because you are...duuh_

Alec nods his head again as Jace leave the living room. He sits there til he hears the front door slam shut, that is when Alec bolts up from the couch, sprint up the stares and slams his own bedroom door shut behind him. He sinks down to the cold floor letting his head fall down in his hands while he exhales deeply.

Twenty minutes later

Alec's sitting on the bathroom floor. He has his beloved pocket knife in his hand. He have no tears in his eyes just a look of determination and anger. Anger at himself, at Jace and Magnus, at all of it.  
He clench his left hand into a fist, straightening it out with every muscle in the arm tense. He bring the pocketknife's blade down to rest on his skin, not piercing it yet. Bracing himself. He don't want to do it slow like he dose sometimes, he wants it fast and painful. And that's exactly what he dose.

He makes a seven centimeters long gash on his lower arm in one clean sweep. Bringing the knife up and away from the wound he let out a breath. His arm is aching with pain but he clench the knife hilt tightly, now in his left hand. Clenching his right hand into a fist he dose the same thing to the right arm as he did to the left.  
But he doesn't feel satisfied, he wants more. Wants to feel more of the pain, the real feeling. Holding the knife harder then ever he brings it up to his upper arm and makes two fast cuts. It's making him feel, pain surges through him and he's starting to feel drowsy, sleepy. The knife slips from his hand and falls to the floor as he's starting to float in darkness where everything is forgotten. Where he can be what and who he wants.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N This would be up sooner if I didn't feel like crap... :) **

**Anddddddddddddd don't forget to review :))**

Chapter 4

Alec opened his eyes slowly and is met with what seemed to be the brightest fucking thing he ever seen. Groaning he closed his eyes again, he can still feel the light on him from underneath his closed eyelids. He don't know where he is or what he is doing here but he couldn't bring himself to care.

Instead he started thinking about golden green eyes and sparkly spiked coal black hair. He remember the kisses with Magnus and couldn't help the longing he felt from just thinking about him. He remember all the text they sent and he was repeating them word for word in his head when a hand came down on his arm and a soft familiar voice spoke near him.

''Alec? You awake?'' Alec slowly opened his eyes again. After blinking several time he could make out his sister Izzy sitting on a ugly looking chair next to him.

''Urrghh'' Alec groaned again shifting in the bed he was in. It wasn't his own bed he noticed and it was all white. White everywhere, and that smell... Oh he was in a hospital.

''Iz? Wha-what am I doing h-here?'' He looked around widely feeling confusion and panic overwhelm him. He didn't like hospitals. Not one bit.

_Can you hear it Alec? _That little voice in his had said now sounding creepier then ever.

_Can you hear all the people who died hear scream? Someone have died in this bed you're in._

Breathing rapidly and hard he jumps out of the bed and rips all the weird plastic things away from him, which caused some machine next to him to beep wildly.

''Alec! Calm down.'' Izzy rushes to her brothers side and doctors came in through the open door.

''Mr. Lightwood, you need to stay in bed!'' A harsh voice close to him said.

Alec's panting now he can't get enough air into his lungs. The room starts to spin while he falls to to his knees down onto the hard floor. He bends over desperately, it feels like he's choking on air and his body is burning up.

He can hear his sister voice calling his name but it feels like it's miles away. He can feel his hands shaking and he grips his hair to make the shaking stop. The last thing he feels before blackness starts to swirly behind his eyelids, is a sharp sting in his arm.(which was made by a needle by the way)

_earlier..._

Jace POV

Jace had just gotten home from Clary and he still needed to talk to his brother. So he went into Alec's room closing the door after himself.

''Alec?'' He calls out seeing how there was no one in the room.

He frowned and was about to walk out to his own room, when he noticed the bathroom door was locked. Thinking Alec would be out soon Jace lied down on his brothers bed and waited.

And waited...

And waited some more...

Jace hadn't realized he had fallen asleep while waiting for Alec and he almost shouted when he noticed it was morning AND he was late for school.

Jace dashed out of the bed and ran to his room in desperate need to get ready as quick as possible.  
Once he was inside his on room he remember Alec. Had Alec not come out of the bathroom? Or was he downstairs perhaps?

Jace made his way downstairs to find a frantic Isabelle running around, by the looks of it she too had overslept and were running late.

''Didn't Alec wake you?'' Jace had a gut-feeling saying there was something wrong here. Alec always use to wake them up if they weren't up in time.

''No that bastard.'' Izzy snarled while stuffing stuff in her purse.

Jace turned on his heels and sprinted up the stares straight too his older brothers room. He threw the door up making a loud noise as it banged against the wall.  
The bathroom door was still locked.

''Alec!'' He shouts as he bangs on the bathroom door making the entire thing shake violently.

He bang again and again and got no answer. This really isn't good.

''Izzy get up here!'' Jace shouts popping his head out into the hallway.

He can hear Izzy's heals as she gets closer and she says something but he can't bring himself to care for what ever it was.

''Alec's in the bathroom, he has been in there sense last night get it open now!'' He says harshly at his sister who looks taken aback.

She looks like she wanted to say something but she don't and start fumbling with the bathroom lock. Jace taps his foot impatiently for like what feels like half an hour, but was probably not.

Izzy makes a sweeping motion with her arm towards the door motioning for Jace that he can open.  
Jace don't hesitate for a second and throws the door open and looks around. He frowns it looks empty. But as he takes a step inside the room he sees Alec crunched in a sitting position whit his head down against the wall to Jace's right. Jace looks over his brother and notice the blood that's covering him and part of the floor, and a knife next to him. Jace face pales significantly...

_current time..._

When Jace got back from the hospital cafeteria Izzy had tear filled eyes.

''Izz?'' At the sound of his voice Izzy looks up at Jace and sits up straight while clearing her throat.

''He woke up an-and he... freaked out so they sedated him.'' She says while looking down at her brother in the hospital bed. ''Did you call mum and dad?'' This time she looks up at Jace when she talked and he can see that a tear have fallen down on her cheek.

''Yes, they're on their way. Here's your coffee.'' Jace hands her the coffee and sits down on the chair next to her.

Jace can't stop thinking that if he stayed with his brother and talked more this wouldn't have happened. Choosing your girlfriend over your brother nice Jace...

Alec POV

The next morning Alec's mother's in the hospital and she's currently outside speaking to a doctor. Alec still doesn't know why he's here but he gets a bad feeling in his stomach when the last thing he remember is cutting himself in the bathroom...

Maryse is standing with her back to Alec so he can't see her expression, which just scares the hell out of him. Alec's mother is a very intimidating woman and he has seen grown men get scared of her.

''Mum?'' Alec asks when she steps in to face him. She's not looking happy.

''Alexander.'' Ah...nice she's death glaring at him. ''What were you thinking!? She half shouts through her teeth.

''Uhm...''

''Why on earth would you cut yourself?''

''Uhm...'' A lump is starting to form in his throat and it seems he can't be form correct words.

''And several times!? She's defiantly shouting now. ''Are those scars on your arm?'' She says while pointing towards his arms.

''Uhm...'' He hides his arms under the hospital bed covers and the lump in his throat is now threatening to choke him to death.

''I've called a therapist.'' Maryse says a little calmer now. ''You're meeting tomorrow.''

''Uhm...'' _sure...if I haven't died from suffocation by then... _Alec's sure the lump is getting bigger every time he swallows.

''Isabelle have brought some of your cloth and called a cab, I'll see you at home.''And with that she left, leaving Alec to stare dumbly after his mother.

''Uhm...''

Isabelle POV

Isabelle couldn't help it. She was afraid for her brother. The car ride so far have been silent with Alec staring out through the window looking more distant then ever.

''Magnus called.'' Izz says after a while hopping to cheer her brother up. ''He's worried about you.'' Alec didn't move a muscle and Izzy don't know if he even heard her.

After a moment of silence he dose speak up'' Where's my phone.''

''At home.'' On second thought she adds '' You didn't have it on you when we... went to the hospital.''

There was no more talking on the ride home and Izzy felt more distance between her and her brother now then ever before.  
Alec went straight to his room and all but slammed the door shut after himself.

Alec POV

On the way home Alec couldn't stop thinking about what his mother had said.

He was going to a therapist.

A therapist.

AND he couldn't stop thinking about Magnus and how gorgeous he is. He know he doesn't really know Magnus and he could be some sort of axe-murderer or serial-killer -yes he is paranoid.

The first thing he did when he got home was decide to screw all his crazy fears and call Magnus. What did he have to lose his family already thought he was nuts.

The phone conversation was short and was basically just Alec saying when and where they would meet. Alec manage to sneak out of the house unnoticed, but once outside his fears started creeping on him.

It was cold and dark outside and animals were howling along with the small night noises everywhere around Alec.

Yes he is a big boy but anything can be lurking around in the shadows ready to jump on you! What if some werewolf's following him behind the bushes? Or what if there's some crazy monster behind the dumpsters just waiting to eat him? What if someone's spying on him from the shadows of the trees?

Alec swallows takes a deep breath followed by slow steps forward. It's extremely hard to shake of the feeling he gets when he is someplace dark. He can feel his palms starting to sweat and soon he's running the rest of the way towards school where he's meeting Magnus.

Maybe Magnus isn't coming. Wait was that the sound of twigs breaking? Oh god is there someone behind the trees? Alec's shaking and jumping from feet to feet, he really don't like being out late in the dark of the night.

''Are you okay?'' A silky smooth voice behind him asks and he jumps high in the air and nearly scream in terror.

He whips his head around and is greeted by the sight of Magnus catlike eyes staring back at him.

''Oh God! Don't ever do that again I could have died of a heart attack!'' Alec says while clutching his heart.

Magnus just chuckles and bring him in for a hug. Alec buries his head in Magnus shoulder and sighs while he inhales the sent which is Magnus. Magnus body against his makes him press all the fears to the back of his mind (well most of them) and his body feels instantly warmer. He can't help but become a little sad when they break apart, but Magnus is smiling down at him so it's worth it.

''Seriously Alexander, are you alright?'' He looks genuinely concerned.

''No.'' Alec responds while looking down at his feet.

''Hey'' Magnus brings his long slender finger under Alec's chin and tilts his head up, making him stare right into those green-gold eyes.''You wanna talk about it?''

''No, I wanna do this.'' Alec stands on his tiptoes places his arms around Magnus neck and press his lips against Magnus's soft ones.

He can feel Magnus hands around his waist and he gets that warm feeling again. He brings one of his own hands up to tangle in Magnus hair and tugs on it, making Magnus gasp.  
Alec takes advantage of it and slips his tongue between Magnus parted lips. He can feel Magnus's moan vibrate through him and when Magnus hand slip under his shirt and up his back he moans too. After a while Magnus breaks the kiss and looks down on Alec's flushed face and kiss swollen lip.

''Not that I don't like this, but it's cold and late.'' Magnus says a little breathless. ''Why don't we go back to my place?''

''Wouldn't your parents mind?'' Alec sees something flash in Magnus eyes but it's gone fast.

'' I live with a room mate, and he doesn't mind.'' He smiles warmly.

''Oh, okay. Show the way.'' Alec makes a gesture with his hand and they start walking back to Magnus apartment hand in hand.

The too of them walks up the stares to the apartment and ones Magnus opens the door Alec gape at what he sees. It look like a rainbow puked in the apartment. There's color everywhere. Really _everywhere,_ Couches in pink and blue, tables in purple, carpets in pink, white and yellow and more pillows then you can count in all colors you can imagine.

''Like what you see?'' Alec looks over at Magnus and sees him grinning. He must look like a complete idiot.

''Uhm...yeah...it-it's very...Magnus.'' He manage to get out of his mouth.

''Very Magnus?'' He chuckles slightly at that.

''Yeah, it looks like you.'' Alec grins and step inside.

''So it's magnificent, why thank you darling.'' Magnus yawns and step further into the apartment. ''I'm tired, come lets go to bed.''

Alec nods to that and follows.

Magnus bedroom looks much like the rest of the apartment -full of color. His bed has yellow covers and purple pillows which he flops down on after Magnus. The bed is extremely comfy and when Alec opens his eyes he's face to face with a grinning Magnus.

He's about to say something when Magnus interrupted him with his tongue down Alec's throat. He gasps and let his eyes slip shut as he press Magnus down on him more. Magnus grinds his hips down against Alec's.

''Magnus..'' He pants between kisses feeling hands on in chest and ass.

Magnus purrs and deepens the kiss while squeeze Alec's ass, remembering how he reacted last time he did it. And he wasn't disappointed. Alec groans and lets his head fall back against the pillow giving Magnus a good view of his throat. He brings his lips down onto Alec's exposed throat and feel him jump slightly out of surprise. He bites down earning a breathy moan from the boy underneath him.  
They're both breathing hard after not long and their shirts have disappeared, leaving their bare chest touching.

Alec flips them over so he's now on top of Magnus and smirks down at him. He trails his hands down Magnus chest down to his waist and dose the same thing with his mouth, trailing kisses and sucking lightly. He kiss along the waist band of Magnus pants while bringing them further down slowly. He can hear Magnus moan and whimper beneath him and he runs his hands up and down Magnus's thigh. He trail his fingertips up Magnus inner thigh and he hears something sounding much like a growl come out from Magnus mouth.

Alec chuckles and brings himself up to kiss Magnus on the lips deeply.

''Hey! Magnus how do you make the DVD work again?'' A boy says while storming into Magnus's bedroom, not seeming at all disturbed to have interrupted them.

Alec blushes gets of Magnus and pull the cover up to shield himself from the evil green haired boy in the doorway!

''Ragnor for god sake! Just turn on the power switch!'' Frustration clear in his voice making the other boy chuckle.

The boy -Ragnor gets out and shouts ''Have fun!'' through the closed door.

Alec clears his throat before saying, '' well...we should sleep it's getting late'' while looking down on the sheets.

Magnus mumbles something under his breath but turns the light out anyway and kiss Alec goodnight. They're soon fast asleep with Alec snoring in Magnus arms.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N Thanks for all the happy reviews, I love them :D especially the one that says I'm the best :o**

Chapter 5

''Hello boys!'' Alec wakes up by a shouting voice and someone jumping on the bed and that's...just...a little annoying.

''Ragnor! For fuck sake!'' He hear Magnus shout next to him making his ear hurt. ''Get. Off!''

''My, my someones a little edgy aren't they!'' Alec looks up from his comfortable pillow to see some middle height guy with green hair, skinny jeans and a tight pink T-shirt jumping down onto the bed landing in between Magnus and him.

The boy-Ragnor snuggles into the pillows and brings his arms around both Alec and Magnus smacking them into his body for some soft of embrace.

''MMMMMMmmmmmmmm, isn't this nice!'' He exclaims hugging the two tighter.

''So...Alec this is Ragnor my room mate, Ragnor this is Alec.'' Magnus says sounding a little crushed, while casting Alec a reassuring smile and laughing at Alec's shocked expression.

''Uh...h-hi''Alec says hesitantly to the teen who's currently trying to squeeze him to death.(He's sure that's what he's doing.)

''Hey Alec.'' Ragnor release his grip on Magnus and hugs Alec full on, which just crushed him move.

''Excuse me, can I get some air!'' Alec squealed breathless.

Ragnor just chuckled and released his grip jumping up on the bed and jumping up and down making the bed squeal and sway.

''I've made breakfast come on!''Ragnor shouts like he wants all the neighbors to know that too. At this Magnus eyes widen quite much.

''_You_ made breakfast?'' Magnus says to his friend, disbelief clear in his voice.

''Yes I did.'' Ragnor responds looking like a happy child.

''What did you make?'' Magnus eyes Ragnor wary.

''Coffee!''

Sighing Magnus plops himself down on the bed again hating his friend for taking the warmth of having Alec snuggled up next to him. He was so going to pay for that...

Magnus went to shower so Alec was left having breakfast with Ragnor, which he can't say he's looking forward to.

''So did you guys have sex last night?'' Ragnor says all to loudly for Alec's taste and he chokes a little on his coffee.

''W-what? No!''

''Why not?'' Ragnor asks with a huge grin on his face reminding Alec of Jace.

Alec goes kind of speechless at that and starts to stutter something he's sure Ragnor didn't understand. But lucky for Alec he's saved, yay!

''Go easy on him Ragnor, don't want to scare him off.'' Magnus emerges from the hall fully dressed with no makeup on but a smirk on his face.

Ragnor mumbles something in his coffee and gets out of his chair and stalks of to somewhere.

Magnus is wearing tight purple skinny jeans with a T-shirt that has so many tears and holes in it it looks like it will fall apart any second. Not that Alec's complaining. He can see his smooth caramel skin and the exact shape of his chest and legs.  
Alec shakes his head and takes a sip from his coffee realizing he has been staring, he hear Magnus chuckle and Alec glares at him.

Magnus takes a seat in front of Alec and sips his own coffee. ''You wanna do something today, handsome?'' He says bringing his foot up Alec's leg while winking at him.

''Oh-h...uh I-I c...can't. I have t-that appointment today...'' Alec mentally punch himself for how stupid and lame his voice sound.

''Oh right cool, some other time then.'' Something unknown flickered in Magnus eyes as he said that, something Alec can't put his finger on, he looked kind of sad.

**XXX**

Alec has just gotten home from his session with that therapist and he's repeating everything he said in his head. He can't stop thinking about it and not in a good way. He wants to just disappear, how did he ever think spilling his guts about everything would make anything better? How stupid was that.

_''Hello Alexander, I'm Doctor Amatis Wayland'' The browned haired, blue eyed, short and slim woman said, extending her hand._

_''Hello'' Alec responds not really feeling like being polite._

_Alec has been sitting in some sort of waiting room for the last fifteen minutes and is now being lead to a private room, where he's going to talk about himself..._

_The place looks like a hospital with all the white, Alec hates white. They pass __rows of white doors with their silver metal handles shinning. The woman stop one door away from the last and opens it leading Alec inside. _

_''Alec have a seat.'' She says while walking in behind him _

_She sat down in front of him. ''So Alexander lets get started.'' She says clapping her hands together. _

_After staring at the woman in front of him, for how long he don't know. Focusing on his breathing he exhales long and slow. ''Sure.'' Alec replays in a strained voice. _

_''OK Alexander, I'm going to go through some standard questions to help me see how you are in general.'' Amatis says and writes something in her black notebook that currently in her lap. Alec's fingers twitch to reach over and see what see wrote. _

_''Hmm lets see...have you ever drunk alcohol?''_

_''N-no.'' Alec stammers out his reply and swallowed _

_''Have you ever done drugs?'' She continues in a calm voice, which quite frankly unnerves Alec._

_''No!'' He says a little to loud making Amatis give him a weird look._

_''Alexander... It's my job to talk to people you can trust me, I won't tell your parents anything you don't want me to tell them.'' She flash a calm smile. ''This is just between you and me.''_

_Amatis wrote something more in her black notebook and continued after a short pause.'' Do you ever feel scared that people around you will hurt you, like people on the street-or your friends?''_

_''What, ye-no, maybe.'' He can feel a blush work its way up so he retreats his gaze towards the white plastic floor. _

_''Alright, alright.'' She nods and writs something. ''Why don't we start somewhere else? Whats been going on lately with you Alexander. Tell me, tell me.'' _

_''Nothing. Just school, you know.'' He says picking holes in his sweater arm. _

After that he totally broke down and just told her everything and he can't bring himself to recall the rest of the session. He don't want to remember how he told her. How he told her about Magnus, his annoying siblings, cutting himself and how Sebastian and the others pick on him.  
At least he didn't tell her about that stupid voice in his head. He don't want to seem completely insane and he just meet her. Why dose he feel like he can tell her anything? That just doesn't make sense. The voice don't come as often though that's good, maby it's about to disapper.

**XXX**

It's been a few days sense the hospital incident and Alec's back in school, his first period have just ended and next he have history. At his locker he leaves his math book but he doesn't take out his history book. There's something drawing him to the bathroom. It sounds like there's coming voices from the door, but he's to far away to hear what they say.

He close his locker and takes a few slow steps closer to the bathroom door with his heart speeding up for some reason. He can hear better now but there's something weird with the voices, something he can't put his finger on.  
He walks up the rest of the way and puts his ear against the door listening careful. At first he can't make out any words but after a while he hears it. He don't recognize the voice but it's saying his name, Alec, over and over again. It sounds like it's drifting away further and further and then comes back even stronger.

He hears a voice behind his back, _Alec go in, go in. Come Alec. _He spins around as fast as he can but there's no one there and the hall is deathly quiet, everyone's probably in class by now.

He turns back to the door and gulps, the voices behind the door sounds like whispers now when his ear's not pressed against it. He feels drawn to open the door. So for some reason that he's not quite sure of, he opens the door fast and steps in closing the door behind him. Looking around he sees no one in the room, Well except for himself and his reflection staring back at him in the broken mirror.

He shivers when he hears a creepy evil laughter. _Look Alec! The mirror's just like you, broken beyond repair. _He recognize the voice this time, it's the one that he hears in his head.

The mirror in front of him has loads of cracks in it and in the sink there's a large mirror shard. Small drops of water's splashing down on it from the tap and Alec can't tear his eyes away from its sharp edge. He can feel his heart pounding away like crazy in his chest, which frankly is uncomfortable.

_Go on, pick it up. Don't be scared. _He know he shouldn't, he should run the hell away from that voice. But you know you can't run away from something that's in your head...

Alec tries really hard not to, he really dose, but it feels like he can't control himself. Like it's half him half the voice controlling him.

He sees his own pale hand in front of him pick up the shard of glass with a strong grip, making the glass cut into his hand. It drips down in the sink, small red drops mixing themselves with the leftover water. His breathing is starting to get labored and he doesn't really know why he's doing this, he always use to have a reason to cut himself, like a incident or something. Standing there in the school bathroom he can't help but think about how fucking scary this is, he don't really know what he's doing. Or if it's really him doing it.

Alec looks into the mirror again making eye contact with himself. He always thought his face was ugly, his forehead looks to long and just doesn't fit with his nose. His eyebrows just makes him look weird and his mouth's to big.  
He can't help it he's angry with himself and everybody, why dose people have to be so homophobic? Why can't his parents actually give a damn about him? And why is he in a school bathroom with a glass shard pressed against his cheek?

His eyes widen when he realizes what he's doing and drops the shard shocked, making it cling against the sink. How the hell is he going to get away with a long gash on his face... He can hear that stupid little shit voice laughing at him in his head. Great just great. When the shard left his hand he feel parts of his control crawling back to him and his heart slows down a little-but it's still beating fast. Alec sighs as he massage his temple with his left hand, this is just fricking great.

_Makes you look like the weirdo that you are. _If he could punch a voice that's in his head he would. But, seeing how he can't exactly do that he finds himself punching the broken mirror with his reflection in it, making even more cracks in it. Okay this is just great, he have a gash on his face and he's bleeding on both sides of his right hand, this was the smartest idea.

He can't hear the voice anymore which reminds him he's in school and have to do something. He splash water in the sink cleaning in from the blood and dashes to the paper-towels grabbing as many as he possibly can. He splash some with water and clean the wounds while drying the water with the others, all the while with shaking hands. He wraps his damaged hand in them tightly and holds his hand into a fist to keep them in place.  
Okay now he just have a gash starting from his cheekbone ending like one centimeter from his jawline.

After standing there staring at himself for about 15 minutes he looks around and finds a small window in a corner. He don't have the car keys so if he skipped the rest of school he would have to walk home, which he really don't want to.  
He sighs seeing he has no choice and makes it up to the window. It squeal as Alec pulls it up, looking out he sees it's the side of the school close to the fence surrounding the school. Did he mention his school is caged in with a fence? Well it is.

How, he don't really know but after a lot of trouble he squeezed himself through the window closing it after himself. His heart is hammering in his chest and he can feel the trouble of breathing crawling on him. Closing his eyes he takes a deep breath and tack out his black cellphone. He can't really call Izzy or Jace that would be complicated and hard to explain, and they should be in class anyway. Controlling his breathing (as much as he can) he dials the familiar number pressing his phone hard to his ear.

Alec taps fast with his foot on the dead-like grass while waiting for him to pick up. Yes he know his being inpatient there's been one ring so far, but he feels like he deserves to be inpatient.  
Two rings later he picks up.

''Hello, Alec?'' If Alec wasn't in a bad mood he would have heard the voice sounding happy, surprised and concerned.

''Meet me in the parking-lot.'' He says and disconnect the call not giving the other boy a chance to respond.

Alec makes his way carefully to the parking-lot and waits by Magnus yellow car. He dose feel bad about dragging Magnus away from class but Alec felt like it was the best option. Yeah he doesn't really want to explain the cut on his ugly face but hopefully Magnus want press the issue.

Alec only had to wait five minutes until he saw the familiar head with spiked hair plop through the school doors. Alec shift his gaze facing the other way not wanting Magnus to see the cut before he absolutely have to-which Alec hope is never. He can hear the steps on the gravel indicating Magnus is coming closer, Alec listening to his own breathing instead trying to slow it since every step closer Magnus gets the more nervous Alec gets.

''Hey darling.'' Magnus voice comes from behind him and two arms comes around his waist. Magnus places his chin on Alec's shoulder and kisses his check.(Luckily not the one with the cut on.)

''What's wro-'' Magnus starts but cuts himself short when he gets a full view of Alec. Alec watch as Magnus' eyes widen and his mouth is left open.

Alec knows his own eyes widen too as he looks Magnus up and down. Magnus himself have a black-eye, bruises on his arms and around his wrists and have what looks like shoe prints on his tight-bright pants. He have bandage over his right hand with what look like blood going through in some places.

''Lets talk about this later.'' Magnus smooth voice snaps Alec back to reality, he brings his eyes up to Magnus who's grinning but still holds a sadness to his eyes.

The two boys decided to skip the rest of the school day and drive to Magnus place. The ride there was quiet and Alec has been thinking hard about what he could come up as a excuse. He's really not good at excuses or lying, so his best hope is that Magnus just let it go.

**XXX**

Alec and Magnus sat down on his couch with two cups of hot chocolate with little marshmallows in. Alec blows on his and take a small sip, feeling the warm liquid go down his throat warming him.

''So what happened to you, hon?'' Magnus asks after a while of just drinking their chocolate.

''Oh...ah why d-don't you go first?'' Alec says in a small voice, not making eye contact with Magnus.

''Okay I'll go first. But I'm gonna tell it in third person so it sounds cooler!'' Magnus says with joy.

''Okay then! It was a normal school day and Magnus the most gorgeous person in the whole school was walking down the hall.'' Alec can't help but glare at that.

''Magnus the cool kid was this fine morning in need to go to the little boys-room. So Magnus smart as he is, goes to the little boys-room and do what he gotta do.'' Magnus says with a hand on his heart looking proud.

''Magnus was about to leave but this OH SO annoying kid blocks his way! The magnificent Magnus Bane tells the boy: 'Get out of ma way I shall late not be!' But the little blond kid no did such a thing.'' Magnus shakes his head with his hands on his hip.

''Magnus, can you talk like a normal person?'' Alec says like he's talking to a little kid.

''I shall do no such thing! Now shush!'' He clears his throat and begins again. ''So this boy no he says! The blond devil took Magnificent Magnus by his shirt collar and hissed in his OH SO beautiful face. We shall not go into the details of the conversation that was had! Magnus soon found himself in the middle of a gang of boys maybe five, AH YES five they were. The boys grabbed Magnus arms and wrist and they held him still, OH YES they did. The sexy boy, Magnus got kicked in the legs and before he knew it, AH YES before he knew it he was punched in his poor face. He then got punched in the eye and the boys the released their grip, AH YES they released their grip.'' Magnus is now standing up while talking.

_OMG this is so fucking annoying make him stop! _Hmm Alec think he found a good way to hurt the voice in his head.

''The devils left little Magnus on the dirty, filthy, disgusting floor, OH YES they did! Magnus spent a moment or two too collect himself before he got up. Magnus saw his face in the mirror, OH YES he did, he did. Bruises were forming on his pretty face, Magnus did not like that, no he didn't. He got a little mad so he punched the mirror. The mirror hurt Magnus hand! The mirror made Magnus hand bleed and shake! It did! It did! But! The mirror was cracked and broken, OH YES it was, yes it was. So Magnus was OK with the mirror, they had sorted their business. Magnus the magnificent then nodded to the mirror and left he did, AH left he did!'' Magnus plops back down on the couch, picking up and sipping his chocolate.

''Honey I know I was stunning no need to look so speechless.'' Magnus tells Alec flashing a big grin. ''So! What's your story?''


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N Don't forget to review :o**

**And I was honestly not expecting this to come out when I sat down and started writing :P**

**It is a little short but whatever!**

Chapter 6

Alec didn't have much time to think about the story Magnus told him, because Magnus attacked him right away with questions. Shouldn't Alec be the one attacking with question? Magnus have just finish his story after all and it did raise questions.  
Every time he opens his mouth his attacked with a new question.

''Alec who did this to you?''

''Alec I'll hurt them!''

''Alec why the face?''

''Alec when did this happen?''

There was more but since he didn't get to answer them he just ignored the rest and stared out of the window of Magnus apartment pondering over what he would say once Magnus shut up. All he can think of is something along the lines of 'Hey! Oh this it's nothing I just did it with a bit of a mirror!' Yes he dose sound crazy.  
Maybe he can sneak out of here? Magnus dose seem to into his questioning to notice?  
Maybe he could try...

''Alec... did you do it on purpose?'' Magnus says next which just stops Alec in his way of trying to crawl out of the couch in a not to noticeable way.

Alec doesn't say anything. Well he gulps, blushes and stutters a little if that count as talking. He can't think of a thing to say and Magnus have this intense look on his face like there's no way he's getting out of this.

''Alec.'' Alec can't look at Magnus right now. He don't want to see the disappointment in his boyfriends eyes when he nods his head as a yes. He's pathetic and he knows that, he don't need anyone else to tell him that. He don't even know why he did what he did, what kind of freak don't know why they do what they do, well except for him!  
Tears sting his eyes as he looks down at his hands resting in his lap. What he has done with them, what he want to do with them. Sure this experience was scary but he wont stop with it, he thinks.  
Chocking back a sob Alec jumps up from the pink couch and sprints out of the door, out of the apartment, out. He don't hear Magnus calling his name and if he did he don't think he would have stopped anyway.

He ran out to the street and didn't bother to check if any cars where coming, he just ran because he wants to get out. He can't be here anymore. If he did check where he was running he would have notice the black Porsche coming down the street his way. But he didn't check and he didn't see the car, nor did he see when it hit him and he rolled up over the windshield and flew off. He saw the ground before it made contact with his face and that's the last thing he saw before it all went black.

The car speed of down the road away from Alec, and if Alec had looked at the driver when he ran him over he would have been met with a smile, a evil grin on a creepy looking face.

**XXX**

Jonathan have spend his week spying and taking notes like he usually dose (what it's normal, who doesn't?). He might be a freak but who isn't?

''What do you think the fag's up to today?'' Jonathan ponds scratching his growing beard. This he said to himself of course but he don't mind the loneliness there's no one to disturb him, and when you talk to yourself you get the best answers anyway, that's a plus.

''Ah there they go.'' Jonathan says as his victims walk into view and disappear through the door leading up to what he know to be, Magnus apartment.

Jonathan's currently in his black Porsche parked conveniently with a good view of the door and his ear-buds in his ears. He saw the two of them bail school and followed them which he usually dose. His note book is on the passenger seat, he takes it up onto a new page and listens to what he hear from his ear-buds.  
They're talking about when he and the others beat the crap out of Magnus and something happened to Alec which Magnus is trying to figure out.

And how dose he know this? Well he installed a bug of course! Yes, he did break into Magnus apartment to place small devices that record what's being said. He did get to learn that Magnus dose not live alone and it was hard to find a time when no one was actually in the apartment...that stupid green head will not go away. Jonathan have been listening in on them for a week now and it's filling his time. He usually follows Alec home and stays in a near by tree but lately Alec have started going to this Magnus dude, why he can't see he's so much better then Magnus.  
Jonathan knows Alec way better then Magnus, he have note books full to prove it. He always knows what Alec's up to and that's the way it is.

The door opening takes him out of his thoughts and Alec comes out, well runs out is more like it you can count on Magnus to upset the boy.  
Seeing his opportunity he quickly starts his car and step on the gas. Alec's just a little bit away he can make it, he smirks as he steps more on the gas coming closer and closer. Alec deserves this. He should take it as a sign to not hang out with Magnus or things will get worse, he'll make sure of it.

As the cars front connect with his target there's a bump and Alec's flying over his windshield and down onto the hard pavement. Jonathan speeds of as he see Magnus in his rear-view mirror a grin spreads across his face. He can't help the grin he just made an accomplishment and he should celebrate. He'll go stalk Alec again soon enough, for now he'll go steal candy from kids, ahh that's the stuff!

''To the park!''

Hmm look at that Jace Lightwood and that Clary girl. Jace's standing over Clary who's on the swing and they're making out. With a smirk on his face Jonathan stands slightly behind a tree and just stares at the couple until they see him. Jace gets pissed of of course and he's making his way over to the trees, Clary following trying to stop him.

''Hey there!'' Jonathan says in his most cheerful voice.

''What the fuck's the matter with you!'' Jace snaps pointing a finger towards him. ''Standing there watching like a creep!''

''Whatever, I can't say the show was good cause I would be lying.'' A big smile appears on Jonathan's face, well it disappeared when Jace punched him.

The fist knocked him back and caught his jaw sending pain through it. The smirk comes back to his face knowing he provoked the other boy.

''Punch like a girl I see huh, I thought it was the other Lightwood that was a pussy.'' Jace growl and throws himself at Jonathan, but being prepared as he is Jonathan moves away swiftly.

Jace falls to the ground and nearly punch Clary when she comes to help him. Jonathan can't help the laugh that escapes at what he sees.

Jace's still on the ground but is now on his back and close enough to Jonathan to kick his legs out from underneath him. And that's exactly what he dose, making Jonathan land on the side of his face.

Jonathan haven't raised a fist in this fight yet and he's not about to, he gets up and brushes himself of the dirt.

''One Lightwood is enough for today.'' He says smirking to himself as he walks away not sure if Jace heard him or not. Well he didn't get to steal any candy but that sure was fun.

**XXX**

When Alec jumped up from the couch and ran out of his apartment Magnus followed. Why did he say that? He knew he would get upset but no! he just had to. He called Alec's name but he's sure that wouldn't help or stop him. Cursing as Alec threw the door shut in his face giving him a set back. He himself didn't bother closing the door or putting on a coat. Alec was already at the bottom of the stares when Magnus comes out of the door. Once he got out of the apartment he was ready to sprint after Alec with all he had.  
But he didn't have to. Alec was very much not moving. No he was lying in the middle of the road looking not good.

He took Alec into his arms as he whipped out his phone and called for an ambulance. He hugged him and rocked him back and fort sitting there next to him. He didn't care to take him away from the road because he was honestly not thinking about that right now as his tears roll down his cheek.  
He don't know how long it took for the ambulance to get here but it felt like a damn long time. Magnus was like a statue the ride there, just sitting there looking as they worked on Alec. He didn't make a sound as the tears still went down from his eyes.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

''Who the hell are you?''Izzy and Maryse have just arrived at the hospital where Magnus was waiting. Izzy had greeted him with a hug not thinking about her mother not knowing this man.

''oh, mom this is Magnus.'' Izzy would like to add of what meaning he had to Alec's life but it's not her secret to tell, and she don't want to call Magnus just a friend. Well he is a friend to her, but still!

''Okay?'' Maryse says eying Magnus up and down with a gaze that would make a grown man scared. ''Where's my son?''

''Why I'm right here, can't you see?'' Jace appears from behind Maryse with that smirk on his face.

Maryse just rolls her eyes and leaves her children to go talk to the nurse at the desk.

''Magnus what happened!'' Izzy said with fear in her eyes as she gripped his arms.

Izzy could see Magnus swallow hard before answering. ''I...h-he there...a car ran i-into him.'' She could see the tears in his eyes that were already red and puffy.  
She just hugged him again squeezing he own eyes shut tightly.

''Alright'' Maryse says coming back over the her children. '' Alexander's in room number 666. He's just out of surgery and is not awake...Jace, Isabella lets go.''

Izzy nods and follows her mother but Jace stands putt. ''..Jace?'' Izzy looks back at her adoptive brother a questionable look on her face.

''Magnus come along.'' He says waving his hand for Magnus to follow.

''No, he is not!'' Izzy can't help but admire her brothers courage for standing up to this woman. ''I do not know this man!'' ...Well of course she don't she's never home...jeez what you expect. It's not like she's involved in her kids life so how is she suppose to know this man that have made Alec happy. Sure Alec might not tell her much but he have been happier lately and she have seen them kissing once.

''He's important to Alec. It's his boyfriend.'' Okay, maybe she's not the only one who have noticed. Isabelle didn't know this but Jace had also seen the two kiss before.

Izzy's eyes widen and she looked over to she her mothers reaction. Maryse had a black expression on that face of hers, unreadable.  
She is quite shocked about Jace knowing, she is, but that's not her biggest problem right now. Her big brother is in a hospital after all, he was run over by a car and last time he was in a hospital he freaked out. The memories of the last hospital visit plops into her mind and she quickly shakes them away.

Magnus scowl at Jace. ''I'm a he not an _it_!'' Jace just look at him a little before returning his gaze to Maryse who's still blank.

Maryse expression turn to a stern one, narrowing her eyes at Jace. ''He can wait here.''

''Nah, lets go!'' Jace says all happily dragging Magnus with him as he storms of in the direction to Alec's room.

The Lightwoods soon had to go and Magnus being the only one over eighteen, well except for Maryse, stayed. Maryse had some place to be he didn't bother asking where, he didn't like her and if it wasn't for Alec he would have told her to go away.  
As Magnus looks down on his unconscious boyfriend he rakes his eyes over him, he looks all mangled up with bruises and scrape marks on his face, from what he's guessing is from hitting the pavement with gravel on it.  
Magnus is still standing next to Alec's bed instead of sitting in the nearby chair. Honestly his legs are starting to hurt him but he just doesn't want to move away from Alec, even if it's just a step.  
As Alec grunts in his 'sleep' Magnus wonders what's going on inside Alec's head, and is he hurting?

He leans forward over Alec, placing their foreheads against each other and their lips almost touching. He close his eyes as he let go of a shaky breath and close the gap between their lips. Alec's lips on his own is slightly cold. With their lips still locked Magnus brings his hands up to Alec's pale face cupping it, making Alec's head tilt up a little.  
After a while he can feel the movement of Alec's lips slowly kissing him back as he licks Alec's upper lip.  
Magnus just forgets, forget that they're in a hospital, forget what happen and just feel the feeling of which is Alec Lightwood beneath him.  
Magnus trail his right hand down Alec's neck as he makes a sound of pleasure and parts his lips, probably without noticing it, if he's even aware of what's going on.  
Magnus let his lips leave those of Alec and slowly opened his eyes to be met with sparkling blue ones staring back at him. Magnus smiled at those eyes and wanted so bad to bring him in for a hug but he doesn't want to hurt the boy.

''H-hey.'' Alec says and clears his throat, his voice came out sounding all weird and quiet but just hearing his voice made Magnus smile.

''Hey sleeping beauty'' Magnus gave him a quick little kiss on the lips before stratening up. ''How are you feeling?'' He asked concerned.

''Like...like I was just run over by a car.'' Alec says with a small smile on his lips.

''The police is looking for who did t-this to you.'' A look of pain crosses over Alec's face. ''Hey, they'll find him.'' Not really knowing what to do he ends up poking him on the cheek.

''Did...did you just poke me?''

''I don't know what your talking about, what did they give you? Your delusional.'' He responds with an innocent look.

''What ever.'' Alec plops down on the pillow sighing as he close his eyes.

That's the last thing Alec remembers before the darkness of sleep over took him and the next time he woke up he was surrounded by his family. When they saw he was awake they all smiled and hug and shared family time until the doctor came in to check on him.

''Hello Alexander, I'm Dr. Morgenstern and I just have to check a few things.'' The doctor in question was white-blond with deep dark eyes all black. He looked kind of familiar.

The doctor asked a lot of question and when he was done he changed one of the bags on the machine next to him, the one that was in wasn't empty or anything and Alec can't help but wonder why that was, and what is in it.

_Alec was walking down the hospital hall, the rooms were empty and there was no one as long as the eye could see. He had his hospital_ gown_ on and that machine thing was on wheels and he was rolling it by his side as he strolled down.__The lights above him was blinking and it made his eyes sting, his throat was dry and his feet hurt when they hit the cold floor. _

_Alec spun around fast as he thought he heard footsteps behind him. There was no one in the hall but where he had walked just a few seconds ago there were bloody footprints. Alec looked down and saw that his feet was indeed covered in blood, as he looked up again he heard the sound of the elevator ding and the doors opening.  
__Alec stood frozen, if it was from shock he don't know but he started to hurt more, all over his body, it hurt. _

_The footsteps echoed through the hall louder then any steps should sound. He couldn't make out who the person was or what his face looked like, all he did see was that it was a male. Well he also saw a very sharp looking long knife in the person's gloved hand, Alec turned and darted in the direction away from the hooded figure. But it was hard, he had to drag that stupid machine with him, it was not very practical. He ran as fast as he could but the other man was walking calmly, but he was still getting closer to Alec by every step he took.  
__He was looking forward to where he was running and he could have sworn there was nothing in the way, but in the next second he crashed head-first into a – very hard – wall. He fell to the ground ending up on his back and tipping over the machine. The machine started leaking liquid and when he tried to stand up he just slipped around like some helpless puppy. _

_Strong, cold hands gripped him by the neck successfully pulling him up. He got his head slammed against the wall again and all he could hear was his heart beating in his ears.  
__He tried to get air into his lungs but they were burning and it felt like he was drowning in some bitter liquid. __as Alec gasped and struggled the hooded figure pulled down his hood while laughing a deep evil laugh that made his body freeze and his body felt cold all over. _

_''Hello Alec.'' The man said and gripped his chin hard making Alec look into the others eyes. They were pits of endless black holes, his hair was almost white and he seemed to be surrounded by shadows. _

_Alec recognized it as the doctor from earlier, when he was talking to Alec parents he said his name was Valentine.  
__Valentine murmured something in a foreign language that sounded harsh to his ears and he had no chance in following what he said, not like he would be able to understand it anyway. _

_Black crawling, slimy, growling, hissing blubs with claws started pouring out from the floor. _

_Alec was never one for screaming when he was scared and he wasn't screaming now, he was just paralyzed with fear as he stared at the horrible things happening in front of him. _

_''Alec...say hello to my demon friends.'' Valentine grinned showing of his white teeth as he spread his arms wide. ''They would like to make...a proper introduction.'' He laughed and the things – demons as he called them – hissed, showing of their huge mouths with endless of sharp pointed teeth. _

_The could wall pressed against his back as he tried to get as far away as possible, with no big luck. He gulped and tried to breath but found it nearly impossible._

_''You're disgusting Alec, and you just happens to be apart of my plan.'' He dose that creepy laugh again as the demons start crawling towards Alec where he has preside to crawl to a ball in a corner. _

_''Go. Get him.'' Valentine commands and points to Alec. ''Oh and Alec? I'll be back.'' And with that said he just melted into the shadows til he no longer could be seen._

_The demons crawled towards him and as they touched his skin it burned like hell. He was sobbing and his whole body was shaking and he couldn't breath, as claws were sinking into his skin and teeth biting his legs.  
__He tried to scream or whine but he couldn't. As a demon advanced to his neck and teeth pierced his skin Alec found his voice again _and he screamed as loud as he could, it was a scream full of fear and pain. Tears were streaming down his face as he trashed in his hospital bed.  
He could hear faintly voices calling to him, calling his name but all he could hear was his heartbeat as the creatures tore him apart.

Several strong hands griped his wrist and arms, he struggled but he was week and tired. Something cold and hard closed around his wrist and the hands let go. He tried to pull his arms back to his body to hug himself but he couldn't. He cried desperately as he tugged with his hands, all it got him was pain in his wrists but he didn't stop. He had to try to get free even if he couldn't.  
He suddenly felt very tired and drowsy unable to struggle anymore. He felt his arms slump down against the bed and behind his eyelids the darkness filled.

Isabelle was alone in the hospital watching Alec, the others had stuff to do and it is a school day after all. Magnus had refused in the beginning but Izzy convinced him to at least take a shower and change. He was coming back after that he had said and Izzy doesn't doubt it.  
Alec feel asleep a while ago and it is pretty boring here. Alec stirred in his sleep and it looked like he was closing his eyes tightly, painfully tight.  
After she had observed him for a while she could safely assume he was having a nightmare. She walked over to his bed and started shaking him.

''Alec, ALEC!'' She shook him more but he was trashing around like crazy and he doesn't seem to hear her.

What could she do? What could she do? Pour cold water over him?  
She ponder over it as she continue to call out to him, getting no respond.

Then she remembered the button next to the bed and pushed it. The next thing she knows doctors and nurses come rushing in trying to wake her brother.  
She stands by the side and her blood runs cold as she hear her brother's scream of agony. Alec screamed. Alec, never screams. She feel the tears sting her eyes and she let one slide down her cheek.

_Alec's no longer in the hospital now, he don't know how he got here but he's at some kind of lake and it's raining. He's in his normal clothes and they're all wet, the wind blows through the air bringing him shills. A scream of pain echoes through the now still air and Alec spins to see where it came from, but he sees nothing. Just the lake, HE is in the lake. Well he's standing on a splotch of grass in the middle of the lake...weird.  
__A singing voice reaches his ears and he turns in the direction of the voice not sure if he wants to see something there. He dose. _

_A body is slowly rising from under the water, it looks like an angel, it has wings. Black hair in spikes covered in glitter popes out of the water and the wings are big and gold, they're also glittering. It's a man and he's singing something but Alec can't hear the words.  
__The angel looks up and Alec gasps as he sees Magnus' face on the tan skinned man. He has makeup running down from his eyes and it looks like it's mixed with blood.  
__Seeing him looking like...like that makes Alec heart hurt. Magnus have cuts all over his body and his wings are bleeding gold liquid. _

_Alec blinks and the next thing he knows Magnus is standing right in front of him barely any space between the two. As Alec gasps from shock Magnus press his soft lips against Alec's. Alec tries to move his arms to touch Magnus but he can't, he just wants to feel Magnus so bad but his arms wont move, all he can do is move his lips. Since the only thing he can do right now is kiss Magnus back that is exactly what he dose. It's sweet and beautiful but it ends to soon. Magnus steps away with a sad look in his tear filled eyes._

_''You did this to me.'' Magnus says and takes another step back, away from him._

_Alec's to stunned to react or move or anything, he just stares at Magnus with questions in his eyes. Black and red tears stream down Magnus' face and there's a big gash over his heart that's pouring blood in the color of gold.  
__Alec feels a pain in his own heart and look down on himself. His shirt is white and there has started to form a red stain over his heart which he grip whit his hand.  
__He looks back at Magnus who is now a good bit away from Alec._

_''It's your fault.'' Magnus says as he takes another step back, he had been walking on the water but as he took the step he fell in with his back first. Before he fell in the water completely Alec heard his last words. ''Don't forget that.'' He said. _

_Alec ran and jumped in the water after Magnus but he was nowhere to be seen. Alec searched for him under the water, he couldn't see a thing and the water stung his eyes bad when he opened them. He searched but found nothing.  
__As he resurfaced he gasped and looked around. The water was now a deep red and he could see black fishes swimming around in the water, they did not look like normal fishes and after everything Alec can't really say he's surprised.  
__The fishes do what the demons did before, they attacked him.  
__It was the worst pain he ever felt, the were small but they were many and everywhere. Alec chocked as he cried and felt himself not being able to hold himself over water. He sank down and soon his head entire body was underwater and there was pain, and after pain there was numbness. _

Having a father that's a doctor is a good thing he must say. Jonathan smirks as he search through the files til he find the one he wants; Alec Lightwood out of surgery and waiting, Jonathan laughs as he flips through the information and takes a copy of it.

''Watch out I have your room number.''


End file.
